It may have been long. It may have been riddled with bad jokes and too many musical numbers. But when the right people win (which was almost completely the case last night), it’s hard to see the Oscars as anything but a fun night at the movies. So here they are, the winners and losers in my eyes from what was a memorable 2013 Oscars.
Winners: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Not only did they both look great, they proved once again to be the sweetest, most normal couple at the Oscars when Ben talked in his acceptance speech about how marriage is work but, “…it’s the best work. There’s no one else I’d rather work with.” Real, lasting marriages take hard work, but the key is to find someone you love working with—and I’m so happy two of my favorite people in Hollywood found that in each other.
Losers: Seth McFarlane’s attempts to be edgy
With jokes about 9-year-old nominees dating George Clooney, Rihanna and Chris Brown, and actresses looking great after getting the “flu” (a not-so-subtle reference to bulimia), there were more than a few spots where McFarlane didn’t just fall flat; he crossed the line. And I kept feeling uncomfortable when he would call out the crowd for not laughing or for reacting poorly to his jokes. It just wasn’t my style of humor, but I suppose we sadly can’t have Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host everything.
Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron looked gorgeous during their old-Hollywood-style routine, as did Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Daniel Radcliffe. If there’s one thing McFarlane and the producers did right, it was bringing back some panache to the show in the classiest way possible: good-old-fashioned dance numbers.
Loser: Catherine Zeta-Jones
Her performance of “All That Jazz” was just painful. If you’re going to lip-synch, at least have the decency to match up your mouth with the music.
Winner: Jennifer Hudson
Now that is how you relive your Oscar glory, Ms. Zeta-Jones.
Losers: James Bond fans
Was anybody else severely underwhelmed by the Bond tribute, or was that just me? Halle Berry was the best you could do, producers? Did none of the past (or present) Bonds want to come to the Oscars?
Winners: Musical Theater Nerds
Seeing the cast of Les Misérables all on stage at once, belting their hearts out to “One Day More” was enough to give me chills and keep me rewatching multiple times. Kudos to Samantha Barks, Eddie Redmayne, Aaron Tveit, and, of course, Hugh Jackman for standing out and making the Oscars feel for a brief moment like the Tony Awards—and I mean that as a compliment.
Losers: The men of America not named Hugh Jackman and Bradley Cooper
After Jennifer Lawrence’s unfortunate tumble on her way to accept her Best Actress Oscar, Jackman and Cooper immediately rushed to her aid, proving to all the women watching that chivalry isn’t dead and gentlemen do still exist. My expectations for the opposite sex may have just been raised more than a little bit.
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence
Yes, she fell—can we please stop talking about it now?. Can we talk instead about the incredible performance that earned her the Oscar? Or her adorable acceptance speech? Her down-to-earth, humble attitude was on diaplay once again, and she was more than deserving of the honor. Plus, she made Bradley Cooper look like this. If being on the receiving end of that kind of adoration from one of the hottest men in Hollywood doesn’t mean you’re a winner at life, then I don’t know what does.
Losers: Melissa McCarthy and Paul Rudd
I love both of them, but there was no denying that their bit wasn’t funny, and both of them were having really bad hair days. Combined with a surprisingly awkward (but handsome) Avengers reunion, the early presenters should have worked but instead felt forced.
Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis’s sense of humor
Who would have though that an actor known for his dramatic roles would have one of the funniest bits of the night with his joke about switching roles with Meryl Streep. Always a class act, Day-Lewis has now proven that he can move a room to laughter as effortlessly as he can move them to tears and goose bumps.
Loser: People who aren’t obsessive fans of The Sound of Music
My favorite joke of the night was the Sound of Music bit before Christopher Plummer presented the award for Best Supporting Actress. Sadly, few people probably understood the reference, but those of us who did certainly appreciated it.
Winner: All of us who stayed up to see Argo win
Ben Affleck’s inspiring speech was by far the highlight of the ceremony for me. It was heartfelt, honest, and truly touching. You could feel his passion for the film, his love for his wife, and his gratitude as if they were coming through the television screen. His inspiring closing thoughts were a beautiful piece of advice—not just for filmmakers but for us all. And to hear him choke up when he started talking about his kids was too much for me and my fragile late-night emotions; his genuine love for his kids is my favorite thing about him. Affleck is a classic comeback story, but the best part about it is that this comeback feels earned and like it truly couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Losers: Quentin Tarantino and Heidi Klum
My Worst Dressed of the night goes to these two, who both suffered from the same thing: too much exposed chest. I know it’s Tarantino’s style, but I can’t stand the fact that he never buttons his top button or wears his tie properly. Is it so hard to look like you care about being at the Oscars? And Klum managed to find the only dress on her that could make her look bad. It made her look wide and smushed in all the wrong places.
Winners: Channing Tatum and Jessica Chastain
My Best Dressed of the night belongs to two people who looked the epitome of classic, classy Hollywood style. Tatum’s tuxedo fit him perfectly, looked elegant, and beautifully complimented his wife’s dress. Impending fatherhood looks wonderful on him. And Chastain was a knockout in a sparkly Armani gown that hugged her in all the right places without ever being too much. She looked effortlessly glamorous, like a star of the Golden Age of Hollywood.
You saw my list of winners and losers, so tell me—what did you love (and love-to-hate) about last night’s Oscars?