Monthly Archives: August 2015

Finding Faith: A Letter to Jamie Sullivan

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This is the latest addition to my collection of letters to female fictional characters who’ve inspired me throughout my years as a fangirl. If you have a letter of your own you’d like to share, check out this post to learn more about the book of letters I’m compiling, and send your letter(s) to nerdygirlnotes@gmail.com!

Source: awalktoremember.wikia.com

Source: awalktoremember.wikia.com

Dear Jamie,

I was 13 when I first saw A Walk to Remember on a snowy Sunday afternoon with my two best friends. Life isn’t easy for a 13-year-old girl. I was caught between desperately wanting to be “cool” and knowing in my gut that I could never really fit in with the “cool” kids. I was starting to ask the big questions about myself, my future, and my faith. Needless to say, you came into my life exactly when I needed you the most.

You were the rare breed of teenage character who genuinely didn’t care what other people thought of them. When you told Landon that, you didn’t say it to impress him or to make yourself look cool or better than your peers. Popularity simply wasn’t something that made you lose sleep at night like it is for so many teenagers—myself included at the time. Of course, you had bigger things to worry about (that pesky “dying of cancer” thing), but there was more to your place in “self-exile territory” than that.

When it comes to your character, Jamie, everything is a matter of faith. And you had enough faith in yourself and your principles to know that you were living the right life for you—regardless of what other people thought of it. The impact that had on 13-year-old me was immediate and intense. You weren’t naïve; you knew people made fun of your modesty, your interest in astronomy, and your religious beliefs. But you also knew something it would have taken me a lot longer to learn without your example: What mattered wasn’t what other people said; it was what you believed. So thank you for showing me that the coolest thing you can be is yourself—even if other people make fun of you for it or don’t understand it at the time.

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Fangirl Thursday: Let’s Talk About Strength

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Castle Teen Spirit

COLIN O'DONOGHUE, JENNIFER MORRISON

Today’s post is more of a straightforward essay than a typical Fangirl Thursday discussion-starter, but I hope it still inspires plenty of discussion in the comments because this is a topic very close to my heart.

I say it often, but it bears repeating: I’m a lucky fangirl. In the last few years, I’ve gotten to watch many of my favorite female characters on television grow in incredibly honest, believable, and inspiring ways. I’ve watched these characters grow from places of isolation and fear to places of love and hope. And watching them grow has helped me grow as a woman in ways I might never have without their example.

However, this growth that I find so inspiring is often met with skepticism from other fans—claims that these characters are “weaker” now than they were when we were first introduced to them; statements that people miss who these women were in their shows’ first seasons; and impassioned cries for a return to the “badasses” these women were before they started wearing lighter dresses and hairstyles, smiling more, and opening their heart to other people. These arguments present a fascinating look at the ways we define what it means to be a “strong woman” and how certain definitions of that phrase do more harm than good.

Female characters have often fallen into one of two extreme groups: the damsel in distress who always needs saving or the superwoman warrior who shows no emotion and never relies on anyone but herself. However, there’s a beautiful middle ground emerging in the media right now—especially on television. Female characters are being created who fight for themselves and others but draw the strength to fight from an open heart and steadfast support system. They do a lot of saving, but sometimes they need help to save others and even themselves. That doesn’t make them damsels in distress; that makes them realistic. That makes them human.

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Fangirl Thursday: A Different Kind of Letter

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I love birthdays, and this is the last Fangirl Thursday before I turn the big 2-7 next week. Birthdays always seem to make me nostalgic now (Maybe that’s a side-effect of getting older.), so today I’ve been thinking a lot about who I was 10 years ago—the 17-year-old nerdy girl about to embark on her last year of high school before entering a big, scary future. And then it hit me—some of you reading this might be 17 years old right now (or even younger), and I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted today’s Fangirl Thursday post to be about.

Letters have been very important to me lately, so today I’m going to write another one. However, this time I’m going to write to a real person—the person I was 10 years ago. Maybe—hopefully—those of you reading this at a similar point in your life will find something good to take away from it. And maybe those of you who feel like sharing could write some advice you’d give your younger self in the comments.

Dear Katie,

I feel like I’m writing this to you from the other side of a canyon. So the first thing I want to say to you is simply this: You make it to the other side. There are times when it’s going to be scary and lonely and difficult—times when you feel like you’re going to crash if you look down—but you make it. You reach a place where you feel comfortable in your skin, where you feel proud not just of what you accomplish but of who you are—all of who you are. Your life isn’t perfect 10 years into the future—and it’s certainly not what you think it’s going to be in 2005—but you’re happy. And trust me, you’re going to reach a point where that becomes the most important thing, even though it’s going to take you a lot longer than it should to reach that point.

You’re a nerd, Katie, and you need to stop acting like that’s something you need to hide from people. It’s a part of you—the part that cries when you think about Alias ending, the part that downloads fan videos about Charlie from Lost, the part that still reads Star Wars fan fiction (You never stop doing that, by the way.)…Being a nerdy girl isn’t something to be ashamed of; it’s something to own with pride. Ten years from now, it’s going to be the way you define yourself to the world at large, and no one who matters is going to think less of you for it. In fact, proudly calling yourself a nerd is going to draw people to you like never before.

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